Well, sorry for such a long time since my last post! So much has happened! I've been getting acupuncture for my migraines, had a Drs appointment, have another tomorrow with my Dermatologist, spent this past weekend away in Seattle, and went to a sporting event!
So last week was my first official weigh in, let's talk about that. I lost .4 of a lb. I was so depressed and disapointed in myself and the program that I wanted to go right to McDonalds and eat a quarter pounder and a large fry! Thankfully my Mom talked me out of it and we went home and made a delicious meal together (Hungry Girl Chow Mein) which is amazing BTW.
So how do you overcome a disappointing weigh in? Well not by eating crap! That's for sure! I knew something I was doing was wrong. Last time I was on WW I lost 5lbs in the first week! What had changed this time? Well the plan and the points system have changed...OH fruit is 0 points now! I had been eating anywhere from 5-8 servings of fruit a day. That was totally my problem. Just because fruit is free doesn't mean you should eat so many servings of it! Fruit has a lot of natural sugar, and some fruits are very carby.
OK so after getting my fruit intake to 3-4 servings a day and upping my veggie intake (Stir fry is a great way to sneak in veggies! Also homemade egg white breakfast burritos loaded with peppers, mushrooms, spinach, and onions is also a good way to sneak in veggies). I finally had a weight loss this week! I lost 2lbs! YAY! I now weigh 171! Next week I might even be down into the 160's. That would be really amazing :)
So how did I lose weight this week? Well cut back on fruit, upped veggies, I always, ALWAYS, try to drink 12 8oz glasses of water a day, and most importantly I try to track every.single.thing.I.eat! I cannot even express how important that is. Took a bit of cheesecake? Track it! Even if it's just one point, it's not free.
This past weekend I even went to a MLS game! I had 4 light beers while there. Yes, four! @_@ I think the only reason that didn't come bite me in the ass was I tracked my beers, than made sure to drink lots of water to flush my system.
I am feeling pretty dang good right about now. I can't wait for next Weds to see where I'll be then! So the moral of the story is...just keep on keeping on. If it's not working, thing about why, instead of being depressed.
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Who's your biggest critic?
Who is your biggest naysayer? Is it you? Is it your family? A best friend?
How do you overcome it when someone you care about is telling you you can't do something?
I don't know anybody, anybody who doesn't have at least one person in their life who is supporting what they're doing, or trying to do to better themselves. Sometimes its someone really close, like your Grandmother or Mother, and sometimes it's someone who isn't so close and has no right to naysay!
So how can we overcome negative thoughts and comments? Do you ever say negative things to people you care about and why?
I struggle everyday not only with myself thinking and saying negative things, but other people saying them to and about me. I'm getting better at going "OK wow, this person obviously isn't happy with themselves if they have to be so down on me!" But I also have to turn the tables and think before I say something "Is this something I would want someone to say to me?" Sometimes it's not!
So what can you do when someone says something that hurts your feelings? Ultimately I'd love to be able to say in a calm way "That was really rude, and quite frankly it hurt my feelings." At the point I'm at right now, I think it's more of just a disgusted look on my face rather than being able to express my feelings. I mean, what's the worst that could happen if I voice those feelings? So someone gets angry at me because they said something nasty!? HA!
TOMORROW IS MY FIRST WEIGH IN! YAY! I've been drinking so much water and tracking every single thing I eat, down to the last drop/crumb/slice! I even got out and walked a few times in the nice weather! Today my Mom and I washed our cars very vigorously and even earned some activity points for it! Plus it feels nice to have a clean car too (stupid trees).
I need to take a screen shot of my Weight Watchers log of everything I've eaten and how many points it is, and post it instead of typing it all out as my food log here on the blog. It's so much easier when I'm tracking on WW than typing it out here.
Well! Off to watch the last ep of Biggest Loser before the finale! Update tomorrow night after my weigh in!
How do you overcome it when someone you care about is telling you you can't do something?
I don't know anybody, anybody who doesn't have at least one person in their life who is supporting what they're doing, or trying to do to better themselves. Sometimes its someone really close, like your Grandmother or Mother, and sometimes it's someone who isn't so close and has no right to naysay!
So how can we overcome negative thoughts and comments? Do you ever say negative things to people you care about and why?
I struggle everyday not only with myself thinking and saying negative things, but other people saying them to and about me. I'm getting better at going "OK wow, this person obviously isn't happy with themselves if they have to be so down on me!" But I also have to turn the tables and think before I say something "Is this something I would want someone to say to me?" Sometimes it's not!
So what can you do when someone says something that hurts your feelings? Ultimately I'd love to be able to say in a calm way "That was really rude, and quite frankly it hurt my feelings." At the point I'm at right now, I think it's more of just a disgusted look on my face rather than being able to express my feelings. I mean, what's the worst that could happen if I voice those feelings? So someone gets angry at me because they said something nasty!? HA!
TOMORROW IS MY FIRST WEIGH IN! YAY! I've been drinking so much water and tracking every single thing I eat, down to the last drop/crumb/slice! I even got out and walked a few times in the nice weather! Today my Mom and I washed our cars very vigorously and even earned some activity points for it! Plus it feels nice to have a clean car too (stupid trees).
I need to take a screen shot of my Weight Watchers log of everything I've eaten and how many points it is, and post it instead of typing it all out as my food log here on the blog. It's so much easier when I'm tracking on WW than typing it out here.
Well! Off to watch the last ep of Biggest Loser before the finale! Update tomorrow night after my weigh in!
Monday, May 9, 2011
Tea, water, water, water, tea, tea, tea!
I've been drinking a lot of tea before bed! It really seems to help with sweet cravings and help me relax before bed. Plus it counts as part of your daily water total! Although I try to drink 12 8oz glasses of water, then count whatever else I drank.
Drinking water flushes out your system and all the salt and other bad things you may have eaten. It also helps It also keeps you regular if you know what I mean...
So I've been doing pretty well this week! My Mom went ahead and weighed herself. Our scale is off by about 3-4lbs but so far it says she lost 4lbs! That's pretty good! I haven't weighed myself, and don't plan to until Wednesday at our Weight Watchers meeting. Mostly because if I see that I haven't lost any weight, or have only lost a tiny bit I'll be discouraged and then want to binge eat.
Let's talk about binge eating. So far this week I haven't done it at all! That's a huge accomplishment for me! Usually I'll do it anywhere between 2-4 times a week. After I binge eat I feel disgusting, guilty, fat, depressed, hopeless. So why do I do it? Why do I want to eat to the point that I feel so full and gross! And eat foods that are doing nothing for your body too. I don't really know. I'd like to know. I try to think about it and how I feel when I do it, how I feel afterwards. Neither are good. I think it's just a way to emotionally soothe yourself (at least for me) when I don't know how to handle how I'm feeling, or can't express those feelings either to myself or to who I'm having issues with.
So how do you stop binge eating? Well that's another hard one, because if I had it figured out I wouldn't be doing it anymore, right? Also I think once you've been a binge eater it's really hard to break the habit, no matter how good you've been doing. It's constant fear that you could do it again at any time. I did it when I was thin, I do it when I'm fat. Just now that I'm older and overweight it contributes to the problem and only exacerbates it.
Yikes, this is getting pretty heavy! So let's talk about the things I do to stop it! First, eat a piece or fruit or some veggies and drink and entire 8oz glass of water. Wait at least 25 mins. Assess the situation. Am I still hungry? How bad is it? 1 being hardly hungry at all, and a 10 being so starving you can't even stand. OK it's about a 6. Your stomach takes about 20-25 minutes to register that you've eaten something if you're obese so it's best to wait at least this long before eating something else. So now it's been 25 mins and you're still hungry. Let's first drink another 8oz glass of water. If you're still hungry after that maybe it's time to think about eating some protein. Do you have low fat sandwich meat? Can you bake a chicken breast? These are better options than eating a entire can of Pringles or sitting down with a entire box of cookies. This is the strategy I've been using lately to determine if I'm hungry and if I need to eat anything, and if so what.
Also think about what you're putting into your body. Veggies and fruit provide vitamins and fiber your body can adsorb easier than if you're taking a supplement to try and make up for not getting enough vitamins and minerals. If I think "hey does this do anything for me?" I'm less likely to eat some Oreo's!
Well that's about all for tonight! I'm feeling pretty good right about now! I still have some points left for today so I think I'll eat a few Wheat Thins, and some baby carrots!
Drinking water flushes out your system and all the salt and other bad things you may have eaten. It also helps It also keeps you regular if you know what I mean...
So I've been doing pretty well this week! My Mom went ahead and weighed herself. Our scale is off by about 3-4lbs but so far it says she lost 4lbs! That's pretty good! I haven't weighed myself, and don't plan to until Wednesday at our Weight Watchers meeting. Mostly because if I see that I haven't lost any weight, or have only lost a tiny bit I'll be discouraged and then want to binge eat.
Let's talk about binge eating. So far this week I haven't done it at all! That's a huge accomplishment for me! Usually I'll do it anywhere between 2-4 times a week. After I binge eat I feel disgusting, guilty, fat, depressed, hopeless. So why do I do it? Why do I want to eat to the point that I feel so full and gross! And eat foods that are doing nothing for your body too. I don't really know. I'd like to know. I try to think about it and how I feel when I do it, how I feel afterwards. Neither are good. I think it's just a way to emotionally soothe yourself (at least for me) when I don't know how to handle how I'm feeling, or can't express those feelings either to myself or to who I'm having issues with.
So how do you stop binge eating? Well that's another hard one, because if I had it figured out I wouldn't be doing it anymore, right? Also I think once you've been a binge eater it's really hard to break the habit, no matter how good you've been doing. It's constant fear that you could do it again at any time. I did it when I was thin, I do it when I'm fat. Just now that I'm older and overweight it contributes to the problem and only exacerbates it.
Yikes, this is getting pretty heavy! So let's talk about the things I do to stop it! First, eat a piece or fruit or some veggies and drink and entire 8oz glass of water. Wait at least 25 mins. Assess the situation. Am I still hungry? How bad is it? 1 being hardly hungry at all, and a 10 being so starving you can't even stand. OK it's about a 6. Your stomach takes about 20-25 minutes to register that you've eaten something if you're obese so it's best to wait at least this long before eating something else. So now it's been 25 mins and you're still hungry. Let's first drink another 8oz glass of water. If you're still hungry after that maybe it's time to think about eating some protein. Do you have low fat sandwich meat? Can you bake a chicken breast? These are better options than eating a entire can of Pringles or sitting down with a entire box of cookies. This is the strategy I've been using lately to determine if I'm hungry and if I need to eat anything, and if so what.
Also think about what you're putting into your body. Veggies and fruit provide vitamins and fiber your body can adsorb easier than if you're taking a supplement to try and make up for not getting enough vitamins and minerals. If I think "hey does this do anything for me?" I'm less likely to eat some Oreo's!
Well that's about all for tonight! I'm feeling pretty good right about now! I still have some points left for today so I think I'll eat a few Wheat Thins, and some baby carrots!
Friday, May 6, 2011
Feeling pretty good, and full. So so so full...
Second day of Weight Watchers! I have 29 points to use everyday. It's best to get to 29 points or as close as you can within a few points. Most people think the less points they eat the more weight you'll lose. WRONG! The program is designed so that you're getting optimum calories for your height/weight. Eating too little points and you wont be getting enough calories, your body will go into starvation mode and you'll lose nothing. Eat over your points (and we're not talking allowance points) constantly and you won't be losing weight because you're eating too many calories. It's all about balance!
Let's start with what I ate today:
For brunch (since I woke up at 12) 3 egg whites, red, yellow, and green sweet peppers, onions on a wheat tortilla with just a few grates of sharp cheddar cheese (like we're talking less than 1/8th of a cup)
1 orange
1 Del Monte peaches in light peach juice
1 serving fresh Blueberries
1 serving fresh Raspberries
For dinner - Hungry Girl Chow Mein recipe with fresh broccoli, bean sprouts, carrots, and mushrooms, with tofu noodles
Nature's Path Dark Chocolate Coconut granola bar
Jello Temptation Strawberry Cheesecake (150 cals! so good!)
I still have 11 points remaining for today. Since I kinda skipped over breakfast/had brunch instead I'll probably eat a sandwich before I end up falling asleep :) I might even put a thin slice of cheddar on it! Woot! I've been using wheat/whole grain sandwich thins to make sandwiches with. People often don't realize that one piece of bread is a serving. That's it. Done! But no one want to just eat half a freakin' sandwich! Using the sandwich thin totally helps you feel like you're eating two pieces of bread, but really it's only one serving.
Let's see...what else happened today? Went to Costco to stock up on more fruit and veggies since we've been going through them so fast! (Which is great!) Also picked up a case of Chobani fat free Greek yogurt. Seriously it's the best Greek yogurt I've tried, and I've eaten almost all the brands out there on the market. Chobani manages to be sweet, and a little tangy without being overwhelming. Plus it's all natural and doesn't use artificial sweeteners, which my friend swears will be the death of us.
I've also been making sure to drink tons of water. I ended up not walking outside today since it was cold, and then started raining shortly after I woke up. My Mom got off work early today so we decided to run errands together, then make dinner together. Usually it's just her making dinner and me sitting on the couch typing, or me observing her making dinner and asking lots of questions about prep. (I hate cooking meats. I'm always afraid I'll under cook it). Or it's sometimes me in the kitchen making something and my mom telling me how while she plays on the computer! So tonight it was nice that we both did it together!
I'm getting ready to head to bed here. I still have one more glass of water I need to drink, and then get rid of before I'll be able to lay down and actually sleep without having to run to the bathroom every 20 minutes XD
I hope tomorrow I feel extra motivated to walk on the treadmill! I know I need to be more active, but I'll always take another hour of sleep over working out. Always. It's a HUGE struggle to roll out of bed and throw on those exercise clothes, rather than just laze in bed for another hour. I should try setting out my exercise clothes the night before so when I wake up it's the first thing I see. Maybe that will help! Hopefully I won't just roll over and hit the snooze button :)
Anyway, feeling pretty good! Still a little bloated from eating so much fiber. Takes the body awhile to get used to it.
Let's start with what I ate today:
For brunch (since I woke up at 12) 3 egg whites, red, yellow, and green sweet peppers, onions on a wheat tortilla with just a few grates of sharp cheddar cheese (like we're talking less than 1/8th of a cup)
1 orange
1 Del Monte peaches in light peach juice
1 serving fresh Blueberries
1 serving fresh Raspberries
For dinner - Hungry Girl Chow Mein recipe with fresh broccoli, bean sprouts, carrots, and mushrooms, with tofu noodles
Nature's Path Dark Chocolate Coconut granola bar
Jello Temptation Strawberry Cheesecake (150 cals! so good!)
I still have 11 points remaining for today. Since I kinda skipped over breakfast/had brunch instead I'll probably eat a sandwich before I end up falling asleep :) I might even put a thin slice of cheddar on it! Woot! I've been using wheat/whole grain sandwich thins to make sandwiches with. People often don't realize that one piece of bread is a serving. That's it. Done! But no one want to just eat half a freakin' sandwich! Using the sandwich thin totally helps you feel like you're eating two pieces of bread, but really it's only one serving.
Let's see...what else happened today? Went to Costco to stock up on more fruit and veggies since we've been going through them so fast! (Which is great!) Also picked up a case of Chobani fat free Greek yogurt. Seriously it's the best Greek yogurt I've tried, and I've eaten almost all the brands out there on the market. Chobani manages to be sweet, and a little tangy without being overwhelming. Plus it's all natural and doesn't use artificial sweeteners, which my friend swears will be the death of us.
I've also been making sure to drink tons of water. I ended up not walking outside today since it was cold, and then started raining shortly after I woke up. My Mom got off work early today so we decided to run errands together, then make dinner together. Usually it's just her making dinner and me sitting on the couch typing, or me observing her making dinner and asking lots of questions about prep. (I hate cooking meats. I'm always afraid I'll under cook it). Or it's sometimes me in the kitchen making something and my mom telling me how while she plays on the computer! So tonight it was nice that we both did it together!
I'm getting ready to head to bed here. I still have one more glass of water I need to drink, and then get rid of before I'll be able to lay down and actually sleep without having to run to the bathroom every 20 minutes XD
I hope tomorrow I feel extra motivated to walk on the treadmill! I know I need to be more active, but I'll always take another hour of sleep over working out. Always. It's a HUGE struggle to roll out of bed and throw on those exercise clothes, rather than just laze in bed for another hour. I should try setting out my exercise clothes the night before so when I wake up it's the first thing I see. Maybe that will help! Hopefully I won't just roll over and hit the snooze button :)
Anyway, feeling pretty good! Still a little bloated from eating so much fiber. Takes the body awhile to get used to it.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Weight Watchers!
Yay! Today was our first Weight Watchers meeting, and our first time back in over a year. It's the new PointsPlus system that encourages you to eat more fruits and veggies! I'm totally excited to be doing this again, and to be able to eat all the fruits and (most) veggies!
So my official weight was 173.6 lbs. Yikes. Still better than when I started my weight loss journey a few years ago (just over a year ago? has it been that long?) when I was at 190lbs. My BMI is still significantly lower than it was then, so at least that's something positive!
So let's start off with my eating journal for today:
24 Frosted Mini wheats for breakfast (1 serving)
w/ 1/2 c lowfat Lactaid milk
5 Giant Strawberries
1 Trader Joes Fiberful fruit leather (60 cals, 0 fat, 6 grams fiber)
1 Organic dark chocolate coconut granola bar
1 Chobani peach fat free Greek yogurt (lunch, since I had heartburn)
1 sheet (1/2 serving) low fat graham cracker
1 cup all natural applesauce
A medium sized Banana
1/2 cup mashed potatos (dinner) w/2oz chicken breast and mushroom and onions in a low fat low sodium gravy made from organic low sodium chicken broth
So I have 29 points for everyday. Today since we just found out how many points we have/how the program works at 6pm I didn't go back and figure out all my totals to see how many points I have left to today. I think I'll just eat fruits and veggies if I get hungry since they're 0 now (not all veggies, the starchy ones are still points).
I'm feeling really good. I've been drinking tons of water, walking in the gorgeous sun (with sunscreen of course), and generally just detoxing from my previous lifestyle.
I've decided to cut way back on the dairy I'm eating, since my lactose intolerance seems to be causing my severe migraines. I did end up eating a yogurt earlier because I had the worst heartburn from the turkey chili we had last night. Other than that today and yesterday were dairy free! I had a slight headache earlier but it went away after I drank a litre of water.
I'm excited to go walking again tomorrow, and I hope the weather holds out so it's nice! This weekend is supposed to be kinda shitty but it's the 20th Annual Walk/Run for the Southwest Washington Humane Society and I'd like to go to that if I can. We'll see how it goes! There's a 5K walk, which I know I'd be able to do if I didn't have plantar fasciitis. Boo feet! I also hope that if we do decide to go we can find someone to come with us who will bring their dog! Yay! Walking with dogs is def more fun than with just humans.
Anyway, my weigh in days are Weds unless something else comes up and I have to weigh in another day.
That's about it for my day! I'm dying to eat a Jello pudding cup but I'll wait. No headaches for me please!
So my official weight was 173.6 lbs. Yikes. Still better than when I started my weight loss journey a few years ago (just over a year ago? has it been that long?) when I was at 190lbs. My BMI is still significantly lower than it was then, so at least that's something positive!
So let's start off with my eating journal for today:
24 Frosted Mini wheats for breakfast (1 serving)
w/ 1/2 c lowfat Lactaid milk
5 Giant Strawberries
1 Trader Joes Fiberful fruit leather (60 cals, 0 fat, 6 grams fiber)
1 Organic dark chocolate coconut granola bar
1 Chobani peach fat free Greek yogurt (lunch, since I had heartburn)
1 sheet (1/2 serving) low fat graham cracker
1 cup all natural applesauce
A medium sized Banana
1/2 cup mashed potatos (dinner) w/2oz chicken breast and mushroom and onions in a low fat low sodium gravy made from organic low sodium chicken broth
So I have 29 points for everyday. Today since we just found out how many points we have/how the program works at 6pm I didn't go back and figure out all my totals to see how many points I have left to today. I think I'll just eat fruits and veggies if I get hungry since they're 0 now (not all veggies, the starchy ones are still points).
I'm feeling really good. I've been drinking tons of water, walking in the gorgeous sun (with sunscreen of course), and generally just detoxing from my previous lifestyle.
I've decided to cut way back on the dairy I'm eating, since my lactose intolerance seems to be causing my severe migraines. I did end up eating a yogurt earlier because I had the worst heartburn from the turkey chili we had last night. Other than that today and yesterday were dairy free! I had a slight headache earlier but it went away after I drank a litre of water.
I'm excited to go walking again tomorrow, and I hope the weather holds out so it's nice! This weekend is supposed to be kinda shitty but it's the 20th Annual Walk/Run for the Southwest Washington Humane Society and I'd like to go to that if I can. We'll see how it goes! There's a 5K walk, which I know I'd be able to do if I didn't have plantar fasciitis. Boo feet! I also hope that if we do decide to go we can find someone to come with us who will bring their dog! Yay! Walking with dogs is def more fun than with just humans.
Anyway, my weigh in days are Weds unless something else comes up and I have to weigh in another day.
That's about it for my day! I'm dying to eat a Jello pudding cup but I'll wait. No headaches for me please!
Monday, May 2, 2011
Buying clothes when you're aero dynamically curvaceous (AKA fat)
For those of you who don't know me personally don't know that I love to shop. For things. Bags, shoes, jewelry (Juicy Couture anyone?). Clothes? Hate it. Absolutely hate it!
Have you ever gone shopping with your hot, thin friend? You know how everything fits them perfect and looks expensive no matter how cheap it is? Yeah that doesn't happen for me, ever, at all. I have to try on at least 20 pieces of clothes before I find just one thing that works. It's beyond annoying and aggravating.
Well it's that time again. My clothes are looking worn and bleh. No matter how careful I am with washing my clothes in warm water and hanging them to dry, you can only wear something for so long before the fabric starts to fade and the cotton begins to pill.
I desperately need a bra! MAN I HATE BRA SHOPPING! First of all, I am very well endowed in the chest area. That's fine and all but if you think shopping for clothes is annoying imagine trying to find a cute bra for DDDD breasts.
Not only do I need bras, I need shirts. I have like no shirts! Everything is so cute when it's so small! Bras, shoes (thankfully I have tiny feet), and shirts. Everything looks cute in sz extra small!
The other disheartening thing is whenever we go past some place like Torrid or Catherine's Big and Tall shop my mom goes "Oh let's go in there and get you some clothes!" The thing she doesn't understand is those places are actually TOO BIG for me! They usually start off as a sz 18 and sell it as a "sz 12," or "sz 1," to make you feel better about yourself. It doesn't though, and like I said it's all TOO HUGE! I'm a sz 12 - 16 depending on the brand/style/fit. Not a sz 18! I can't tell if she's being helpful or just being mean to me. I've tried telling her about 5-6 times that those places start at size 18 and not anywhere near anything small enough that will fit me, but she seems to think I'm lying...
Anyway. Today I had a Chobani fat free Greek yogurt for breakfast. A few hours later I had a organic dark chocolate and coconut granola bar with a Trader Joe's Fiberful flat fruit. For lunch I had a flat bread sandwich with low fat turkey lunch meat, a tiny bit of reduced fat mayo, and some spicy brown mustard. Yum! For dinner just now we had low fat tortilla burritos with ground turkey instead of beef! Instead of sour cream I used a dollop of Greek Fat Free Yogurt instead. And so far that's my day! Plus lots of water! Lots and lots and lots of water. You almost couldn't drink enough water. I mean you can, but my Dr said it seriously needs to be like 4 gallons or more of water before you "over hydrate."
So far I feel like today was pretty successful! My Mom brought home a cupcake from the batch she baked and took to work today. I told her I'd split it in half with her since I don't want to eat the whole thing :)
Have you ever gone shopping with your hot, thin friend? You know how everything fits them perfect and looks expensive no matter how cheap it is? Yeah that doesn't happen for me, ever, at all. I have to try on at least 20 pieces of clothes before I find just one thing that works. It's beyond annoying and aggravating.
Well it's that time again. My clothes are looking worn and bleh. No matter how careful I am with washing my clothes in warm water and hanging them to dry, you can only wear something for so long before the fabric starts to fade and the cotton begins to pill.
I desperately need a bra! MAN I HATE BRA SHOPPING! First of all, I am very well endowed in the chest area. That's fine and all but if you think shopping for clothes is annoying imagine trying to find a cute bra for DDDD breasts.
Not only do I need bras, I need shirts. I have like no shirts! Everything is so cute when it's so small! Bras, shoes (thankfully I have tiny feet), and shirts. Everything looks cute in sz extra small!
The other disheartening thing is whenever we go past some place like Torrid or Catherine's Big and Tall shop my mom goes "Oh let's go in there and get you some clothes!" The thing she doesn't understand is those places are actually TOO BIG for me! They usually start off as a sz 18 and sell it as a "sz 12," or "sz 1," to make you feel better about yourself. It doesn't though, and like I said it's all TOO HUGE! I'm a sz 12 - 16 depending on the brand/style/fit. Not a sz 18! I can't tell if she's being helpful or just being mean to me. I've tried telling her about 5-6 times that those places start at size 18 and not anywhere near anything small enough that will fit me, but she seems to think I'm lying...
Anyway. Today I had a Chobani fat free Greek yogurt for breakfast. A few hours later I had a organic dark chocolate and coconut granola bar with a Trader Joe's Fiberful flat fruit. For lunch I had a flat bread sandwich with low fat turkey lunch meat, a tiny bit of reduced fat mayo, and some spicy brown mustard. Yum! For dinner just now we had low fat tortilla burritos with ground turkey instead of beef! Instead of sour cream I used a dollop of Greek Fat Free Yogurt instead. And so far that's my day! Plus lots of water! Lots and lots and lots of water. You almost couldn't drink enough water. I mean you can, but my Dr said it seriously needs to be like 4 gallons or more of water before you "over hydrate."
So far I feel like today was pretty successful! My Mom brought home a cupcake from the batch she baked and took to work today. I told her I'd split it in half with her since I don't want to eat the whole thing :)
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Well hello!
My name is Kari, and I love to bake! I also love to eat. I really love to eat. I especially love to eat what I bake! So the question is, can a fat girl really bake and still lose weight? I sure hope so, because that's exactly what I intend to do. Without compromising my recipes and making them fat free, because let's face it, who had eaten a fat free brownie and really enjoyed it? I know I haven't. The second I try to bake something healthy my friends immediately question it and refuse to eat it, and I can't say I blame them.
I'm 25 right now, about to turn 26 this summer and I'm freaking out. Not only am I getting closer to 30 at what seems to be an alarming rate, but I'm single, and fat, and almost 30. So I'm fat who cares! Well...I used to think I didn't care. About a year and a half ago I lost 15 pounds on my own. I was so surprised that I could do it I joined Weight Watchers and proceeded to lose another 20 pounds. WOW, right? OK well almost. I didn't keep it off. In fact I became so complacent that I gained it all (save 10 pounds) back. Now I'm almost right back to where I started. I hate looking in the mirror, I hate being naked, and I HATE the way I look. It's time to change, and to keep it off.
My weight problems started in High School, or Junior High actually after I was sexually molested by two male classmates. I became depressed. I didn't want to go to school, I would skin, sit home on the couch and gorge myself until bursting while watching the view. My family is Japanese, and being the way they are they constantly would put down the way I looked. I dreaded family affairs. Oh god seeing my family was the worst! "Have you gained weight? You're looking pretty fat!" They'd chime in helpfully. This didn't help at all. It would only make me binge eat more. I joined Jenny Craig when I was in 8th grade, but didn't lose any weight and the food was disgusting. Again at 18 when my weight ballooned again after being a size 7 for many year (which my family and myself still considered super fat) I joined LA Weightloss. I had some success here but still wasn't motivated to lose big time.
So what went wrong? Why do I keep binging? Why can't I keep the weight off? I have no idea! I mean I have some idea. I eat when I'm sad, happy, bored, celebrating, depressed. My life revolves around food. I think about it every second of everyday. It's like a constant niggling in the back of my mind. I just had a bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats about 30 mins ago. Was I hungry? Not really. Why did I eat then? What possessed me to go and eat a bowl of cereal at 12AM. It's not anywhere near breakfast time!
It's time to be really honest with myself and look at everything, maybe talk to a professional. I had a meeting with a nutritionist last year. She said I was aware of healthy eating choices, had good idea of what portions should be, so what am I doing wrong? Obviously everything.
Well I've reached that breaking point again. My beautiful cousin is getting married on a cruise to Alaska in August. Yes I'm going. And yes, I'm probably going to see some of my family who will without a doubt be judging my weight. Before I go to Alaska I want to lose at least 20 pounds. I am joining Weight Watchers again this week. After working out again this past week after not exercising for at least 6-8 months and it was PURE TORTURE. I was sweaty, and dizzy, and out of breath. I forgot not to drink too much water while walking and felt like I had to puke. This will not be an easy journey, and that's OK. As long as I admit that I need help, that yes, I have a serious problem and I'm not afraid to ask for help I think I can get through this.
I started this blog to be brutally honest with myself. With my friends too, because I am not the kind of person who can easily ask for help, and tell others what I'm going through. I feel like such a failure and a burden, and I'm tired of feeling that way.
Here's the truth: I am 4'10.5", right now I weight 170lbs, and my BMI is a shameful 34.92%. My goal weight is 120lbs, and 24.65% BMI which is still kinda high for someone of my short stature. I'm going to be logging what I ate, how I feel, and the exercise I've done for the day. I'm going to put down every time I binge eat, or feel like I want to binge eat. And I'm going to ask for help and acceptance.
I don't believe in starving yourself. I've tried that too (in 9th grade I weighed under 100lbs and was a sz 2). I believe in everything in moderation. Now let's see how far I can take this. I hope you'll take this journey with me and help me stay honest with myself.
I'm 25 right now, about to turn 26 this summer and I'm freaking out. Not only am I getting closer to 30 at what seems to be an alarming rate, but I'm single, and fat, and almost 30. So I'm fat who cares! Well...I used to think I didn't care. About a year and a half ago I lost 15 pounds on my own. I was so surprised that I could do it I joined Weight Watchers and proceeded to lose another 20 pounds. WOW, right? OK well almost. I didn't keep it off. In fact I became so complacent that I gained it all (save 10 pounds) back. Now I'm almost right back to where I started. I hate looking in the mirror, I hate being naked, and I HATE the way I look. It's time to change, and to keep it off.
My weight problems started in High School, or Junior High actually after I was sexually molested by two male classmates. I became depressed. I didn't want to go to school, I would skin, sit home on the couch and gorge myself until bursting while watching the view. My family is Japanese, and being the way they are they constantly would put down the way I looked. I dreaded family affairs. Oh god seeing my family was the worst! "Have you gained weight? You're looking pretty fat!" They'd chime in helpfully. This didn't help at all. It would only make me binge eat more. I joined Jenny Craig when I was in 8th grade, but didn't lose any weight and the food was disgusting. Again at 18 when my weight ballooned again after being a size 7 for many year (which my family and myself still considered super fat) I joined LA Weightloss. I had some success here but still wasn't motivated to lose big time.
So what went wrong? Why do I keep binging? Why can't I keep the weight off? I have no idea! I mean I have some idea. I eat when I'm sad, happy, bored, celebrating, depressed. My life revolves around food. I think about it every second of everyday. It's like a constant niggling in the back of my mind. I just had a bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats about 30 mins ago. Was I hungry? Not really. Why did I eat then? What possessed me to go and eat a bowl of cereal at 12AM. It's not anywhere near breakfast time!
It's time to be really honest with myself and look at everything, maybe talk to a professional. I had a meeting with a nutritionist last year. She said I was aware of healthy eating choices, had good idea of what portions should be, so what am I doing wrong? Obviously everything.
Well I've reached that breaking point again. My beautiful cousin is getting married on a cruise to Alaska in August. Yes I'm going. And yes, I'm probably going to see some of my family who will without a doubt be judging my weight. Before I go to Alaska I want to lose at least 20 pounds. I am joining Weight Watchers again this week. After working out again this past week after not exercising for at least 6-8 months and it was PURE TORTURE. I was sweaty, and dizzy, and out of breath. I forgot not to drink too much water while walking and felt like I had to puke. This will not be an easy journey, and that's OK. As long as I admit that I need help, that yes, I have a serious problem and I'm not afraid to ask for help I think I can get through this.
I started this blog to be brutally honest with myself. With my friends too, because I am not the kind of person who can easily ask for help, and tell others what I'm going through. I feel like such a failure and a burden, and I'm tired of feeling that way.
Here's the truth: I am 4'10.5", right now I weight 170lbs, and my BMI is a shameful 34.92%. My goal weight is 120lbs, and 24.65% BMI which is still kinda high for someone of my short stature. I'm going to be logging what I ate, how I feel, and the exercise I've done for the day. I'm going to put down every time I binge eat, or feel like I want to binge eat. And I'm going to ask for help and acceptance.
I don't believe in starving yourself. I've tried that too (in 9th grade I weighed under 100lbs and was a sz 2). I believe in everything in moderation. Now let's see how far I can take this. I hope you'll take this journey with me and help me stay honest with myself.
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